growth
I'd have to be internally blind not to see how God is using these few fall months in a big way to change and grow his daughter.
It's been a hard day. It'll be a hard weekend, it's been a hard week, month and two months. This is the most exhausted I have ever been--I can't remember the last time I got more than two hours of sleep. I'm drinking so much coffee that my hands are starting to shake. I fall asleep at Derek Webb concerts (... but not the Black Crowes--no fear of that! ;) ). I'm up at 6:30 to tool-crib it, & work until 6:00 p.m. doing the internship thang, then--once in a great while--run and shower, then eat dinner, then get to work on the whole community college thang. Human nature, I'd love to think that I can handle all this, that I've got it under control. But I so don't. Check it out.
- Despite my best efforts to stay on top of my assignments, I somehow missed three in my Child Psychology class... how do I explain that to a professor? Somehow I've gotta suck it up, put myself out there, & beg for an extra credit assignment.
- I can't seem to manage to make higher than a C on any of my tests.
- The most ironic thing is, even though there clearly are not enough hours in the day, I still feel like I'm not really accomplishing much on the internship-side of things. What's happening here? I've always gotten my sense of self-worth from the work that I do, & I'm watching God strip that away. My worth comes only from him, & I'm learning that in a big way.
Most of all, I see and feel--and yeah, it's painful--God teaching me to trust completely in him alone. I want to know what my future holds--the places, decisions, joys, tragedies, and--most of all--people it holds. And I've got my own preferences on what those should be (understatement, anyone? :P ). But as, bit by bit, I've watched the things I've thought would be good and right for me taken away, I'm coming to learn that God and God alone knows what is good and right for me.
His plans are perfect, his promises trustworthy, his faithfulness eternal, his love incomprehensible. And they are all for me, his daughter.
It's been a hard day. It'll be a hard weekend, it's been a hard week, month and two months. This is the most exhausted I have ever been--I can't remember the last time I got more than two hours of sleep. I'm drinking so much coffee that my hands are starting to shake. I fall asleep at Derek Webb concerts (... but not the Black Crowes--no fear of that! ;) ). I'm up at 6:30 to tool-crib it, & work until 6:00 p.m. doing the internship thang, then--once in a great while--run and shower, then eat dinner, then get to work on the whole community college thang. Human nature, I'd love to think that I can handle all this, that I've got it under control. But I so don't. Check it out.
- Despite my best efforts to stay on top of my assignments, I somehow missed three in my Child Psychology class... how do I explain that to a professor? Somehow I've gotta suck it up, put myself out there, & beg for an extra credit assignment.
- I can't seem to manage to make higher than a C on any of my tests.
- The most ironic thing is, even though there clearly are not enough hours in the day, I still feel like I'm not really accomplishing much on the internship-side of things. What's happening here? I've always gotten my sense of self-worth from the work that I do, & I'm watching God strip that away. My worth comes only from him, & I'm learning that in a big way.
Most of all, I see and feel--and yeah, it's painful--God teaching me to trust completely in him alone. I want to know what my future holds--the places, decisions, joys, tragedies, and--most of all--people it holds. And I've got my own preferences on what those should be (understatement, anyone? :P ). But as, bit by bit, I've watched the things I've thought would be good and right for me taken away, I'm coming to learn that God and God alone knows what is good and right for me.
His plans are perfect, his promises trustworthy, his faithfulness eternal, his love incomprehensible. And they are all for me, his daughter.
posted by jersey ryn at 11:00 PM
1 Comments:
Ryn,
There is never enough time for everything "we" want to do. Rememeber, God gives us what he feels we can handle for one day. His path is not to overwhelm us, but to challenge us and show us that there is but one path to follow. It is his path and his way we need to travel along.
When I feel totally wiped and that I can't do another thing, I have a line that pops into my head. It is: " If I lead you to it, I will lead you through it".
Our way to glory is assured, all we have to do is believe.
Post a Comment
<< Home